i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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