Moan for me like Helen Keller
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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