i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
