My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
