so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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