i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
