so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize