I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
too bad you live with your parents still
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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