I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
