my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
