My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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