TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just high enough for therapy.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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