How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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