it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
