I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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