so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
