did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
