I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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