turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
