Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
