their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
