glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Still dying that you shit outside
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
