Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
