we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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