turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
