Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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