Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
