this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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