I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
