I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
