question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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