i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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