we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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