You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
