Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
