SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
