so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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