You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
