Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
