I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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