So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
