Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
