UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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