mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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