return my video game
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
