Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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