I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
