Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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