she was so not down for the gang bang
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
