Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
