I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
