Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
