And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
