I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
