you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
