i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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