i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The uberlube is also flammable
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
