he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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