Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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