I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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