dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
