I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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