she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
