Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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